Sedated
by SNevaeh
Summary: It was her own arrogance leading her along and it was his arrogance that made him seek her out. Bra thought of it as an interrogation, Goku considered it a pity case. Both were wrong in the end. Edited Ch.5
1. Chapter 1

**Sedated**

 **AN:** Don´t know if anyone here is reading my sideblog dbzideas/tumblr. I made a post there contemplating the pairing Bra and Goku and _obviously_ I couldn´t ignore it, haha. So this story will be a bit more serious. It will take place over a lot of years, so I can say beforehand that NO canon pairings are broken up and NO pedophilia. Not even the slightest hinted bit. None.

 **Warnings:** Relationship drama, dubious moral mostly on the part of Bra, a little bit of sex. It´s not a pwp though.

So Bra is around 25 at the beginning and Goku is around 70. You´ll see that in the end the ages don´t matter, but anyway, interesting info I guess. Also, Hozier is great so listen to the song if you don´t know it already!

Have fun!

* * *

Something isn't right, babe  
I keep catching little words but the meaning's thin  
I'm somewhere outside my life, babe  
I keep scratching but somehow I can't get in  
So we're slaves to any semblance of touch  
Lord we should quit but we love it too much

 _Sedated – Hozier_

* * *

Despite herself Bra couldn´t help but fight the tiny doubt that was nagging her while she walked through some dense grass to the small house on the cliff. Doubt was unwelcome. Her motives… they weren´t all bad. They were rather scientific, she was sure her family would understand that she had to do it! Not that she was really inclined to tell them what she was up to. Never.

She stopped a few meters away from the door, looking around. The whole area looked rather forgotten, maybe… she huffed, pressing her hands on her hips. If he wasn´t there the long flight would´ve been for nothing. She should at least check.

No one answered when she called and the door was open, so she took matters in her own hands. It was weird going through the empty house. It was still neat and tidy, just a bit dusty. A bit neglected. Frowning, she walked up to the first floor. She remembered… remembered visiting with her family, when Gohan still lived next door, Goten´s room, it didn´t even look that different. That was how she grew up, with constant stories about the great Goku and his family, and it always bothered her why her parents and even her brother were so fixated on him. He didn´t seem that special. She had tested it. Pan had been easy. She liked her, Pan knew her, what she was, first relationship, but not special. Normal. Even the breakup had been rather boring, they just fell out of interest. It was more interesting with Goten, it took more convincing, both didn´t want Trunks to know but of course they couldn´t keep it a secret for long. It was exciting, the sex, the fighting, the constant need for secrecy. It got old way too quickly.

No, she had to get to the source of the problem. She wanted to know what was up. There had to be more than just the stories. Goku was boring, he was weird, she had known him forever, there was nothing special about him. He was stronger than her dad, well, that was one thing. The only thing.

With a sigh, she turned around and got downstairs. No one was there. She was sure she would find him here, her dad told her he hadn´t left the planet and where else should he go? A bench was standing right next to the entrance door. Might as well wait around a bit.

* * *

Startled, Bra looked around, trying to figure out where she was and what had just happened. Someone had touched her, someone…

"Sorry, it´s dark and you were sleeping, you probably wanna get home."

It took her a few seconds to react, still too numb from her roughly interrupted nap.

"I… ehm, I… I hadn´t wanted to fall asleep, I don´t know…"

"Want me to take you home?"

She nodded slightly when she finally remembered and vigorously shook her head.

"NO! I mean, not yet, I wanted to see you. You weren´t home, so I waited."

Goku got up from his crouch, stretching. Well, maybe he wasn´t something special, but at least he was looking good.

"Yeah I was training a bit in the woods, getting something to eat. Could´ve just come over, wouldn´t have minded."

"I can´t sense ki."

"Oh." He looked seriously baffled. Bra frowned slightly, she didn´t like it when the others assumed she should _at least_ be able to do this and that, sense ki, fly, they didn´t realize that none of that was particularly easy and she didn´t see any reason to bother learning it.

Huffing, she got up.

"Doesn´t matter, now you´re here anyway. So, you seeing someone?"

"What?" He looked at her confused. This would take longer.

"I mean, Chichi died three years ago. Got a new girlfriend?"

He didn´t answer. Maybe she should´ve been a bit more tactful, but wasn´t everyone always going on and on about how Goku didn´t understand subtleties? AND Chichi´s death was really long ago and they all knew where she was, so that wasn´t really such a sensitive subject. In her opinion.

"Bra, what do you want? Did your dad send you?"

"Of course not, he would´ve come himself. I just… I´m currently investigating."

It was almost too dark to see and not even a light over the door. Bra weighted her options and it was clear that it wasn´t going all that well.

"I´ll bring you home." He sounded not quite as polite as before.

"I don´t want to."

"Then stay here." With that, he walked inside, closing the door. Well. That had been unsuspected. And interesting. So he could be mad. Bra grinned, getting down on the bench. It wasn´t very comfortable, but it was okay for one night.

* * *

She woke up before dawn. The time difference wasn´t that immense to Southwest city, she still felt it. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, carefully, she got up. Stretched. Felt the disgusting texture of her teeth, her bladder, her thirst. Her hair probably was a mess, makeup smeared all over her face… she hadn´t intended to stay overnight. Like that.

Maybe she should sneak into Gohan´s old house, the toilet should be working, she really needed to… some loud noises diverted her attention. So he was up. And she had the perfect idea.

Goku didn´t even turn around when she came into the kitchen. Probably ignored her on purpose. She still didn´t get it, she hadn´t said anything especially hurtful, but whatever. Some people were just sensitive. When he still ignored her after a few minutes, she coughed. He turned around. Looked her up and down. The muscles in his jaw worked, it was really sexy.

"What´s for breakfast?"

"Bra, what are you even trying to do?"

She looked down, seeing her perfectly formed, even sized breasts and wondered how it wasn´t obvious.

"You know, when people get naked they often want sexual attention."

He rolled his eyes, throwing the dish towel he had been holding on the table between them.

"I know. So?"

So? Was he serious? She cleared her throat, moving away from the doorframe. Maybe he didn´t get a good look.

"Well, you´re single and I want to fuck you. You got objections?"

She couldn´t read his face. It was weird. It made her feel stupid and somehow embarrassed. She should´ve come in underwear, could´ve hidden behind it.

"You´re weird, but I guess being Bulma´s offspring makes that normal. You want a ride home?"

She eyed him warily. "You´re not taking me seriously, aren't you? Do you even realize that I´m not a fucking child? I can make my own decisions!"

He grinned, leaning back against the counter. "Yes, obviously. As can I. Now, one second travel of a few hours flight?"

"Fuck you!" She stormed out and even knowing that her butt looked amazing didn´t make the uncomfortable feeling go away.

* * *

She hated him. HATED HIM! Bra was wrestling with her pillow in frustration after she had tried to go to sleep for over an hour. It have been two weeks and she still wasn´t over it! His own fucking son hadn´t been so hard to convince, she probably could´ve made Gohan forget his vows if she had appeared naked in front of him and all he did was shooing her out of his house? Something was wrong with him. It didn´t explain her family´s weird obsession with him, no, but something was seriously wrong with him.

She turned some more, mangling the pillow. Ten more minutes and she threw the pillow across the room, hitting some porcelain figure off a shelf. The sound of it shattering on the floor, real wood, very expensive, probably scratched now, it took her over the edge. She jumped up, threw some clothes on and got her plane capsule. Time for another visit.

He was nowhere in sight when she landed. The only thing for miles was forest and without being able to sense ki… but was it really necessary. With a grin, she got back in the plan and started pushing the horn. She kept it for as long as her ears could stand, watching the birds fly up from nearby trees and maybe that was the sound of some dinosaurs running? After a while she got bored and started punching tunes on the horn. It was loud and a bit painful, but actually quite a lot of fun.

The hand that hit the front of her plane made her scream loud enough to scare off the last birds.

"Could you stop that? I´m trying to concentrate."

Bra took a few shaky breaths, urging her heart to slow down. She had wanted to draw him out, still caught by surprise.

"Oh, hey Goku! Sorry for that, I was just hanging out around here, banging some tunes, having a good time…"

Although he looked calm Bra felt uncomfortable. Maybe she shouldn´t push it.

"I haven´t changed my mind. So what do you want?"

Yes. What did she want. That was actually a good question. "Honestly, Goku, I want to know why. I don´t want to brag or anything, but usually people don´t pretend to be unaffected by my naked body."

He smiled, it was weird. It was so nice.

"I didn´t pretend. Have a good flight." He started walking away. He couldn´t just leave! Bra quickly crawled out of the plane, running after him. He was damn fast.

"Wait, wait a second!" She got a hold of his arm, he easily dragged her along for a second before he noticed her and stopped.

"What now?"

"I… You can´t just leave like that!"

He sighed, shaking her off. "You surely inherited the inability to understand what no means."

"Excuse me? I just don´t believe you mean it!"

He flew away without another word, back in the woods. Bra didn´t try and lure him out again by honking like a maniac, but she also refused to leave. It had been a three hour flight, it was quiet and she had no internet at the top of some freaking mountain, so she could just work a bit. Without interruption. It was actually really productive.

When he returned a few hours later Bra didn´t even pretend to notice him. Maybe she was full of herself, but she was for a reason. And it had nothing to do with her parents!

"You´re still here."

"Thought I could work on a presentation for work when I haven´t been there today anyway. At least something is being done."

She didn´t look up, she just heard him enter his house without another word. Bra stayed on the bench out of spite for another twenty minutes before she flew home.

* * *

Even in her apartment she was constantly distracted, somehow there was always something more important to do… the reclusive mountain was a good hiding spot from the world. Maybe that´s why Goku stayed there, alone. And of course she only stayed there as well, on that bench, because she got so much work done there. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Goku had turned her down. She blew her gum until it popped, nodding to herself. Absolutely nothing. He could do as many shirtless pushups in front of her as he wanted, she was over it.

"If you plan on coming over every day, you can sit in the house as well, you know?"

She popped her gum again, looking disinterested. "Well, I can´t just barge into other people´s houses, can I?"

He huffed, but he just continued with his pushups.

Maybe she didn´t even have to lie to herself. After a few weeks she actually enjoyed the scenery, the peace and quiet, her frustration sank down to a low level. Maybe there was nothing to understand about Goku, he just liked being alone and he was so different, probably why her whole family freaked out about him so much. It didn´t matter, she decided it wasn´t worth the hassle, she should just enjoy herself.

The summer was almost over, the mountain air already started becoming cold and the water in the nearby lake was almost too chill to swim. Almost. They had beach houses, all of them, hers was on the beautiful coast of Cherry Island, but swimming in a lake… something she had never done before. It was fascinating, it felt different and it smelled different and it was beautiful, surrounded by trees and water birds and…

"Oh my god!" Something that had touched her. When she started diving, she saw it. A huge fish, probably the size of Goku´s house and it was swimming towards her with a wide open mouth. She looked around, no sight of another one, no sight of someone saving her. She could´ve screamed, but it was fast and she didn´t have that much time… with as much force as possible, she punched the fish right when it tried to swallow her. Her fist went through its skull, shooting brain and blood out of the other side. It was extremely disgusting and as Bra crawled out of the water, she vomited out all her disgust.

"Are you alright?"

She looked up, Goku was standing there, all smug and grinning. Bastard.

"You piece of shit, where you here the whole time? You could´ve saved me!"

He shrugged, walking over to the shore and trying to get the dead fish out without getting wet. "You didn´t look like you needed help. I killed those when I was still little, ´s nothing you can´t handle, Bra. Uh." He looked at the hole, intensely. "Interesting method."

"Oh my… fuck you, seriously. You just wanted me to get you dinner, like a good wife, eh? That´s why you never talk to me, treating me like someone who´s not here anymore? Just good enough to ignore?"

The fish landed next to her, making her squeal.

"Bra, I don´t mind if you hang around. But if you decide to insult my family, I will bring you home personally and you will never set foot here again."

She felt her anger rise, but he was too calm. It was disconcerting, she knew that look and the last thing she wanted was to lose her little refuge. He took the fish with him, leaving her in the grass.

* * *

"Why is Chichi´s death so hard for you?"

It was snowing outside, she never had snow in Southwest City, barely ever at home in West City. Snow was skiing, it was holiday. Snow here just looked depressing and… nice. Like everything on the fucking mountain. Goku didn´t react, he was sitting in the kitchen, probably thinking if it was excusable to leave the dishes or to do it right away. It became too cold for her to stay outside, he hadn´t complained.

"Bra…"

"Seriously, I want to know. I´m coming here for half a year now and you are moping so much, I can feel it in the house. The house is moping!"

He eyed the walls, maybe trying to see it. Maybe he just didn´t want to look at her.

"I mean, it´s not as if she is gone. You can still see her in the afterlife! You won´t live forever!"

"Did you ever consider that it is none of your business? I barely know you, everything you are to me is Bulma´s small daughter who hangs out with Pan occasionally. But never here. Maybe you have some twisted idea of what I am supposed to be, but I don´t want to know it. I don´t want to talk to you."

He made it so hard. So hard for her to not give a fuck. Everything he said made her want to punch the answers out of his thick skull.

"Then why aren´t you doing something against it? Take me away, tell dad that I´m molesting you, but you don´t. And I´m still here. Why are you moping so much?"

He stared at her. He didn´t seem particularly angry, but maybe that was his way of being angry. It made Bra furious.

"What is wrong with you? Just tell me, I want to know!" She got up, grabbing him by his shirt and shaking him. He actually let her. "You realize that this is unhealthy? I may be a pain in the ass, but at least I´m a person, so tell me what the fuck is not right with you! I just know all the crap I was told, but obviously no one seems to care enough to actually look after you?"

He pushed her away, making her stumble and fall hard on the floor.

"I told them to stay away. I´m FINE."

"But you´re NOT! You´re a fucking disaster!"

He got over to her so quickly she didn´t even see the movement. When he leaned down to her, she was almost afraid. He still didn´t look angry, but somehow…

"Have you ever thought about the possibility that whatever problem I have is none of your business?"

He grabbed her arm and before she could react she was in Southwest City, on her balcony, and he was gone.

Completely gone. Left the planet. She had to ask her dad and it was the weirdest look she had ever gotten from him.

* * *

 **AN:** Am I doing it? Posting a chapter of something that isn´t finished yet? YES. But I´m pretty much on a roll here, so I guess I will update in not too awfully long intervals.

Anyway, this story is so weird, I know. But it is going somewhere, haha. I could´ve made it super light-hearted, but I kinda wanted to have a story. It will be better in the next chapter, and eventually Goku will stop being a moping asshole and actually talk and not just hang around being passive-aggressive.

It is really hard for me to write Goku, I have immense trouble connecting with his character, so if something sounds really awful and OOC, feel free to point it out.

Right. If you came for the sex, you have to wait, but eventually… either way, hope you all liked it and stay for the next part:D


	2. Chapter 2

"You cut your hair."

Bra screamed, the glass she was holding shattered on the kitchen floor and she grabbed a knife before she even realized what she was doing.

"Who the fuck is there?"

She looks around the dark apartment, the sofa squeaks. Someone is sitting on it, she cannot quite make it out. When he is standing in front of her abruptly, she screams again, ramming the knife in the direction of his liver. Better safe than sorry. She hadn´t expected someone to actually catch her arm.

"Sorry, I didn´t mean to startle you."

And there he was, looking exactly the same, no wrinkles, no grey hair, casual clothing, it was so weird…

"Are you fucking kidding me? You disappear for… for four years and then you decide to make your grand comeback in my living room? What is wrong with you?"

He lets her go and she has a hard time keeping herself from trying to stab him again.

"I can´t stay on Earth too long, it´s making me nervous. You mind if I stay with you for a while?"

He deflects easily, she almost cut her other arm with the backlash. "Why aren´t you going back to your mountain?"

He slowly untangles the knife from her fingers, putting it back on the counter. "I´m not feeling like it. I won´t bother you, I just want to sleep here."

They were quiet for a long time, the tension thick enough to feel like a heavy weight on her chest. Her anger was so irrational that it irritated her, making her want to punch him and scream and kick him out, hoping he would have to sleep in the gutter. Obviously she was his only option and that… she actually liked that thought.

"Fine. Sleeping, nothing else. I´m not a hotel."

He smiles, politely. "Thanks Bra. After you occupied my house for so long I was sure you wouldn´t turn me down." He turned around, walking back to the couch. "And your new hair looks pretty."

Goku barely moved his head to avoid the vinegar bottle she threw at him. It shattered on the wall, spraying her white carpet with stinking black dots. She hoped he enjoyed it.

* * *

He stayed true to his word and she barely saw him for the next two months. Sometimes he got back earlier, doing some light workout in the living room, sometimes she heard the shower in the morning, he was always up earlier than her and of course… dirty underwear that lay around, not getting picked up until the cleaning lady arrived later in the morning.

It was much more surprising that he appeared one afternoon, she had her day off, and lounged around on the couch. Not saying something. Not doing anything. She wanted to throw a pen, but it was so… childish. So she just ignored him. Seemingly he took it as an invitation to be around more, a fact that irritated her increasingly with every passing day.

"I thought I told you I´m not a hotel!"

"I´m just sitting here." He looked up, expressionless. "I let you do that at my house, so…" He shrugged. "So I thought it was okay."

Grinding her teeth, she got back to preparing her dinner. She couldn´t quite make out why he made her so… so furious!

"I half expected you to wander around naked again. I´m glad you didn´t."

It was a ten thousand zeni couch she just ruined with the knife she threw at him. But damn had it felt good.

* * *

Three months. Southwest City entered the rain season and Goku seemed to be more present than ever. Maybe he just didn´t leave anymore at all. She got used to it, more than she thought possible, although he barely spoke to her and freaked out the cleaning lady when she saw the hole in the couch. The one he had tried to fix with a stapler. She probably hadn´t forgotten the vinegar stain on the wall.

Or maybe… it was just nice for once to have someone around. Every now and then she regretted having moved out from home, she could´ve had her main office in West City as well, her company didn´t depend much on location and her brother and his family were also living in the mansion, but… it felt like defeat. It felt like she couldn´t do it, like she had to get back since she wasn´t capable of being alone. But she was.

She took a salad leaf and slowly chewed it, her plate looking horribly alone all of a sudden. Shrugging, she took a second one. Might as well become a hotel.

At least he was startled when she let the second plate fall down on her glass couch table, making an unholy sound while slowly rotating.

"For you."

He got a grip very fast. Still amusing.

"Thanks." He eyed it. Some more.

"Don´t worry, it´s enough. Y´know, mum actually has a food line, ´s good for astronauts and stuff, people who can´t transport a lot of food, very filling. Was actually for us."

"I see." Didn´t look too convinced. It made her wonder where he got something the last few months, considering she hadn´t offered him something.

"Bra, what did you even want from me, back then?" He slowly took his chopsticks, shoving his food around without real enthusiasm.

"Oh, that. I wanted to figure out why everyone is so in awe with you. Couldn´t see it. Thought sex would clarify it."

He grinned, putting the chopsticks down again. "Yeah, that´s a weird plan." He was quiet for a few seconds, his eyes looking at the far corner of the room. "I don´t think there is something really special about me. I just have some talents, that´s all."

It was so weird, he as so weird. She didn´t know him all that well, but even four years ago she had wondered… what it was. "Say, are you still in a bad mood because Chichi died or did something happen in space? I do start to worry that I will find your dead body when I get home from work one day. Should I be concerned?"

"Why should I kill myself? It´s not as if it changes anything."

She frowned, looking at her broccoli. Well, maybe not for him… "I don´t know, I mean there is this afterlife, but you kinda can´t leave it, right?"

"Of course I can." He looked at her, his face kind of smug. Kind of inviting her to punch it. "I can come and go wherever I want. Might as well stay here."

The broccoli looked at her accusingly. She let it fell down back on the plate. "Okay, so what´s the deal with Chichi then? I mean, did you say hello? Did you visit her? How is she?"

Maybe she imagined it, but for a second it looked like he was actually sad. Furious. Devastated. All at once.

"What´s it now? Didn´t dare to go? Goku?" She shook him lightly, but he just pushed her hand away, lightly in his opinion probably, it still hit the back of the couch hard, the spot with the staples, making her bleed.

"Ouch, a bit more careful maybe?"

"The afterlife is not the ever after as it will be for me."

She rubbed her hand, it was just a tiny scratch. Still. "What do you mean? Got a life expectancy there as well?"

"No…" He rubbed his head, his eyes. "No, it means that you stay there, a while, maybe you know some people and it is always the same and you forget and forget and when you are blank you just… you return. You start again."

So that was it. She had wondered about it, how boring it would be to spend eternity in one place. Eternity was much more fun if you could explore everything there is. And then it hit her.

"That´s it then? She forgot you?"

"Started. Didn´t go there again."

She started eating again, grinning at the damn broccoli. So much wasted time for something so easy.

"You´re just a fucking coward. You didn´t realize that, eh? Instead of facing the inevitable and having some nice memories for the rest of our potentially freakishly long lives you just decided to run away and hide out. Classic."

She had expected him to get angry, not to control it so well. Just an ugly grimace.

"What do you know, you just think everyone has to do what you please! You have no feelings for anyone but you!"

"At least I don´t pretend to be different. Like you. Have you ever thought that it is a good thing that we don´t spend eternity in some freakish afterlife? That Chichi can move on, that that´s how it is since it´s supposed to be like that? But I guess you aren´t all that sad after all, you are just ungrateful that YOU aren´t her number one priority anymore, that YOU can´t depend on her anymore and that YOU fucking asshole can´t feel good about her waiting for you forever! Or what?"

He got up, making a few steps and stopping, breathing hard.

"You gonna run away now or what? I don´t know why anyone thinks you´re so awesome, you´re just like everyone else."

"I never said I was."

He disappeared. She wondered if he would come back.

Shrugging, she took her last broccoli, looking at it intensely. "You know I was right, right?"

Eating it, she contemplated getting a cat.

* * *

It was just a week. A week and he was back, looking like he slept in the woods and she was probably right with that.

"You got a cat."

"Two, in fact. Jack and Fred over there."

He looked over to the red striped cat. Nodded. "You had no right to talk to me like that."

"Still mad? Sorry if I made you think I care about being polite."

"You have no idea how this feels like."

Of course not, but she knew how self-centered men could be. She just shrugged.

"But I… still thought about it and you had some good points."

"Ah. Thanks."

He didn´t say anything, just staring at Fred.

"So what now? Do you have to work through the fact that Chichi doesn´t need you anymore? If you want a therapist, I will gladly assist."

"Can I stay a bit longer?"

"Suit yourself. But get out of that before you sit on the couch. It´s ruined enough."

"Just buy a new one."

She grinned. Looked like it would be more interesting from now on.

* * *

The curtains weren´t closed all the way, making it bright enough to see. See Goku lying on the couch, sprawled all over as if he owned the place. The blanket was drawn up, she wondered if he was naked. He woke up when she got near, confused by the sudden interruption of his sleep, his brain still foggy, no problem grabbing the blanket quickly when she reached out to pull it away.

"Bra… what? What are you doing?"

She didn´t want to talk, she wanted to act, she wanted to DO, fight, fuck, anything! Pulling harder, she ripped it, throwing the piece on the floor. Not naked, almost, still some underwear, she would get rid of it, no problem.

"Bra, get away!"

He tried to push her, but she bit him, the arm he reached out, deep down until she felt the skin break, blood on her tongue, she was ready to bite it off. He pushed her head away, hard, it would bruise, it was too good.

"Fuck me." She ripped her shirt open, not caring what she did, barely feeling the cold breeze on her skin. She was so hot.

He looked at the side, at the window, she did, too. The moon was so bright this night. When she looked back he was already on her, grabbing her arms and pushing her down. She struggled, there was nothing she could do, so she screamed, kicked, screamed more. He had to let her go!

"Bra, it´s just the moon. Calm down. Come on, calm down."

He pressed her down harder, his hands hurting her wrists, she felt the pressure on her bones, it was bad, the blood that run down his arm, she couldn´t… couldn´t…

"Everything is fine, okay? I´m sorry."

Why was he sorry? She felt the tears, trying to struggle some more, she was so frustrated, why was he sorry?

When he bit her she barely felt it, the pain, she just stared how he easily drew blood, could´ve ripped her whole arm off, so easy. She started crying harder.

"I´ll let you go now."

He did. She didn´t want to struggle anymore, she couldn´t attack him, he was so much stronger. So much more powerful. There was no need to fight. She could… relax…

* * *

Bra was disoriented when she woke up, she couldn´t quite comprehend where she was and when she recognized her living room she was still irritated. Her arms hurt and looking at them made her instantly sick, blue and black and a nasty bloody wound, making sure the couch would be ruined forever.

Goku was sitting on the other end, a bowl was standing on the table. Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner maybe? She surely felt like having slept a month.

"What happened?"

"Your tail probably starts growing back, made you react to the moon."

Her tail? She never had one, she wasn´t even sure if it was removed or if she had just been born without it.

"Sorry for your arm. I had to be more dominant than you to make you stop."

"What did I do?"

He smiled, his arm was a mess as well. "You fought. I shouldn´t have been surprised of what you are capable."

"And… and how did you know…?"

"Children. Grandchildren. If you don´t want it to happen again you should probably go to a doctor. Cut the stump off."

She nodded, slowly. It was late morning, she should call work, tell them they wouldn´t come. Couldn´t. She felt so horrible.

"Okay. Thanks." She stumbled to the bathroom, the little movement making her sick. It felt so good when she was done vomiting. Relieved.

* * *

Somehow, things relaxed. Things became normal. As normal as possible. Staring at walls stopped. Eating together started. Playing with the cats. She stopped being surprised when she got back home and he was sitting there, the messed up couch barely fixed with a blanked they threw over it, just watching TV like a normal person.

There was something evolving, a revelation, she had waited for it. And she had to get it out, right after dinner, together, nothing for the cats they would die, too much nutrition. He had to learn the hard way, how could food be bad. He had to learn the hard way.

"Goku, I… I think I know why everyone in my family is so obsessed with you."

He put the plates down, coming back out of the kitchen. Stopped in front of the counter, he didn´t sit back on the couch.

"That´s not hard, Vegeta likes to fixate on things. But you know that, right?" He laughed, half heartedly.

"That´s not it, I… since you helped me the other night, I realized it. You made a mistake, with Chichi, but you were so attached, you loved her so much, it´s… I understand. But you are so caring towards everyone and I… I think…"

The look on his face was something she thought she was sure would be burned into her brain. Frightened. Shocked. Surprised.

And he was gone.

He probably knew that she wanted to confess falling for him.

* * *

 **AN:** Alright, my arm is getting better, whooo! It was actually pretty hard to not write at home, but having an office job kind of made it necessary to spare my poor poor arm at home. Anyway, I think I can write again (obviously) though I´ll try to take it easy.

Enough of that, so I planned the story in three parts, meaning the next chapter will be a time jump again and also be the final chapter. That´s why I said the ages don´t matter that much;) It was absolutely fun to write this chapter, much more fun than the first one (don´t know, it was okay, but it didn´t flow so well) and I got emotionally attached to the super expensive white leather couch. Rest in peace.

Hope you all had fun and till next time!


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:** This was somehow super hard for me to write for a lot of reasons, sigh. Anyway, here´s the warnings: People are dicks, lots of swearing, the usual haha. Also mentioning of Pan/Bra. And for the ones who lost count: Last chapter Bra was around 30.

Right, hope you haven't lost interest in the meantime and have fun!

* * *

Goku knew that Cherry Island was a place for rich people, simply by the fact that Bra had a beach house on it. He hadn´t expected it to be quite so beautiful. The weather was mild, a soft breeze from the ocean and the vegetation was rich and cared for. It reminded him a bit of Kame Island. Though more… understatedly pompous.

The house itself was white of course, lots of windows. The front door wasn´t even locked. He felt her on the other side, but if she still hadn´t learned to sense ki he could just as well use it. A black cat was lying on a white couch, not the one he remembered. Bigger. The whole room seemed too big, too little furniture, too little colour. His house had always been full and cramped and… he frowned, walking a bit quicker.

He pulled the thin curtains away, stomping on the veranda. Bra looked up, confused for a second before the tablet or whatever it was she had been holding fell from her hands and she screamed. Shortly. The next moment she threw her cup at him and he barely dodged, some of the tea spilling on his face. The glass door shattered behind him. Well, some things never change.

"You fucking bitch!"

No, not at all.

* * *

Bra tried to calm down her beating heart, staring at Goku who stood next to her broken door like he owned the place. Kondo had hopped down the moment the glass broke and was hiding behind one of the chairs. Poor thing, he had a weak heart. If he died, she would kill him.

"Are you fucking out of your mind? Have you ever heard of using the doorbell?"

"The door wasn´t locked." He grinned, all smug.

"The door…" She took a deep breath. "Okay, whatever, I don´t… Son Goku. Is the time between running away and coming back getting exponentially longer every time? I don´t know if I live long enough to do this again."

He wiped the tea from his face, shaking it from his hand. "You still look good for your old days, Bra."

She huffed, leaning back in her chair. Not that he looked any different. "What do you want?"

"Oh, you know…" He looked around the veranda, slowly walking towards her. "Thought I could stay a bit?"

"Don´t you like your crap mountain anymore?" Who knew what happened to the house. She hadn´t gone there again, maybe the other´s kept it intact…

"It´s more like holiday. And Cherry Island seems to be a nice place."

She stared at him, unblinking, unyielding, but she couldn´t figure anything out. Some things never change.

"First floor got a guest room. And Goku, stay away from my couch."

He shrugged, a wide grin on his face. She would die to know why he really came back to her. Then again… she picked up her tablet, Kondo was carefully peeking out from under the table as well. He would tell her sooner or later anyway.

* * *

Two weeks, or three… they hadn´t really talked, besides some necessary conversation about the state of her house, the treatment of her cats and the amount of destruction allowed on the beach. It was her beach after all.

Bra had talked with Trunks, as usual, but she hadn´t mentioned Goku. If they didn´t already know that Goku was back again, he probably had a reason. It wasn´t her business.

"What have you been up to? It´s been quite some years, eh?"

"What?" She stopped chewing, her mind blank. Was he… trying to do small talk? Was the world coming to an end? Were they all going to die and he wanted to be pleasant for her last minutes? She swallowed, still not sure if she should answer or not.

"I don´t really keep track, so… oh, Chichi is gone. Maybe I´ll see her again, her incarnation, but I´m not sure if I´d recognize her. `s not very likely anyway, right?"

"I… uhm… no." He was serious. She picked on her chopsticks, trying to think of something to say.

"I saw Bulma, too. Said hi. I think she´s gonna stay somewhat longer than Chichi, had a good time."

"Hope she´s not gonna hang around for dad." Goku actually looked shocked. Bra tried not to laugh about it, it seemed indecent. "We all live so long. He´s probably still around when she´s dead next time."

"Ah." He looked away, shortly. "So how much time has passed?"

"What do you even care? Forty years."

He nodded, slowly, thoughtful. "And your company´s gone? Got a new one?"

"Okay, what do you want? Your questions are weirding me out!"

"They are normal. I guess."

Exactly the reason why she wasn't sure if she should freak out or not. He didn´t do normal. That was his thing. She picked up her chopsticks again and continued eating. No need to waste a perfectly good lunch. "Do you really wanna know or do you just want to be polite?"

He laughed, a loud, hearty laugh. She hated it instantly. Too extroverted.

"I´m not sure I know how to be polite, Bra. If you don´t want to talk, fine. The food is good."

She huffed, shoving some curry into her mouth.

* * *

Cherry Island was about to enter rain season. The wind was picking up and clouds were dulling the day. When she stepped on the veranda, Goku was sitting there, sweaty, out of breath, staring at the heavy rain.

"My niece got the company when I couldn´t justify looking so young anymore. Trunk´s granddaughter, Noushka. She´s very smart. I thought I deserve some time off, so I´m staying here. Got two smaller companies though, internet based, I manage them online. Don´t want to be bored."

He took a deep breath, flexing his back muscles. Bra let her gaze wander over it, stopping at the tail. So it was back.

"Happy now? You wanna know more?"

He turned around, his face indifferent. "Sounds like you know what you´re doing."

She stared at him for a long time after he already went upstairs.

It was already evening when she stomped up the stairs, not able to contain her irritation any longer. When she ripped open the door, he wasn´t there. She should´ve known it, probably just wanted to shower before he went to a nicer place to train or whatever and now she was standing there like an idiot. Frowning, she started pacing the room, kicking some stray clothes out of the way.

Bra didn´t like the way he behaved. A long time ago she had wanted to figure him out and now she was farther away from it than ever. She wondered what he had done in space. Wondered if he maybe had visited Earth and just didn´t stop by her, but then why had no one told her? Didn´t anyone think of her? She didn´t keep close contact with… with anyone, but that didn´t mean…

"Where you waiting for me?"

She spun around, completely caught off guard. Her heart was hammering in her chest wildly and it took her a moment to realize that her mouth was hanging open.

"I… no, I expected you to be here."

Goku shrugged, picking up his underwear next to her foot and throwing it into the other corner of the room.

"What is it? Why do you pretend to care what I have been doing?"

"I didn´t pretend, Bra. Stop accusing me of things that aren´t true."

Her eyes narrowed. It couldn´t be that there wasn´t anything… maybe he wanted to distract her. He did look somewhat exhausted and tired, sweaty, his clothes had huge dirt stains on them… or maybe not. It was driving her insane!

"I can accuse you of whatever I feel like!"

"If that makes you happy, I guess."

He stared at him, unsure what to make of it. When he started to undress, she left. But it wasn´t over yet.

* * *

Goku couldn´t sleep for a while now. Something that had been a minor inconvenience at first turned out to be a huge problem. It was one of the reasons he decided to visit Bra after all, after he ran out of options. And she had helped him getting over Chichi, as much as he didn´t want to admit it. He would never tell her anyway, she would be smug and proud about it and he really couldn´t take it.

Rolling over, his exhausted mind ran in circles. He had made her suspicious, but he didn´t want to tell her why else he wanted to see her. She was too good at shutting people out of her life apparently. She didn't seem to know that he had travelled with Vegeta for a while, more or less if it counted that Vegeta took a ship and Goku just teleported. She also didn´t seem to know that he had visited his family regularly, hadn´t missed one marriage, not one birth. He wouldn´t have considered it weird that she didn´t know all of those things if it hadn´t been for…

He rolled around again. There was no delicate way of addressing it. _Seems like you know what you´re doing,_ right, he should´ve just shut up. He rolled around again, got up, picked up some dirty pants from the floor and flew the short distance to the other side of the beach. The whole island was hers, how fitting. Perfect recluse for the princess. When the sun got up, he went back to bed, to catch at least an hour of sleep.

* * *

"Aren´t you lonely?"

Bra looked up from her coffee. She had heard him open the veranda door, but decided it wasn´t worth turning around. She had slept horribly and felt irritable and her huge headache wasn´t helping much.

"What now? Do we have to have deep conversations in the morning? Can´t you just go blow some sand up?"

He slumped down in the chair opposite of hers. He looked a mess, hair all over the place, bags under his eyes. She wondered what had kept him awake. Probably the fact that he was a fucking asshole.

"I just thought you´d have a family by now. Everyone else does."

"I´m fine on my own!"

He huffed, looking over the foggy beach. It made her mad. She put down her cup with a bit too much force, breaking of the handle. She didn´t care much.

"Listen, not everyone needs a bunch of people around to feel happy! Why don´t you go and judge someone else´s life?"

"You don´t look very happy with it, that´s all."

If she would storm off now, she would admit that he was right. But he wasn´t. She just had a rough night, that was perfectly normal. Everyone had those. "Daily inconveniences are not a proof for the state of my mind, asshole. Oh, and since you´re so damn nosy, I have been married three times. Guess I don´t need a fourth time to know that it isn´t the right thing for me!"

She picked up her tablet and wiped away the coffee stains from it. She ignored him until he left.

He came back three days later, just in time for lunch. She still felt miserable, the headache hadn´t gone away with another few sleepless nights, but at least she couldn´t find it in her to be angry anymore. She didn´t even know about what.

"What happened with those three people that you didn´t stay with them?"

"Goku, why do you even bother? Do you want to marry me?"

He smiled, a tiny tiny smile. "I´m just curious. And it got nothing to do with Vegeta."

She closed her mouth, already about to ask exactly that. Curious, hm? "`s not that interesting. Rather normal, I guess. First they idolize me and when they realize that I`m just a person they all…" She waved her hand. "Walk away." The risotto started to look like vomit. She pushed the plate away. She was so tired of fighting, maybe she should just tell him. Whatever. "I met Victor pretty soon after you left. He was a junior manager at my brothers. We were introduced when he interrupted us during our weekly lunch. Still have those, don´t ask. So first I snatched him away to work for me, he was very good at it. And then I married him. I liked his ruthlessness, but he couldn´t handle… I don´t know. He thought I would be more in love, warm up to him during our relationship, show him my soft side or whatever. Couldn´t handle that I didn´t hold anything back. That´s all there is."

She shrugged, feeling pathetic. Hadn´t intended to sound like that. "Anyway, afterwards I was alone for a while. Victor quit his job, went to another company, nothing from my family. Heh. I met Amir, he treated me like a normal person and well. Didn´t last long, just two years. Wanted children, I didn´t, wanted me to work less and live more and yeah. I don´t like living all that much without working. I… was glad when it ended. I actually had to break up, he didn´t have the balls for it. I had a thing with Pan for a year, I think… we, well, we fucked when I was still in my twenties, just something meaningless, but the second time had been something else. I thought…" She looked away, trying to ease the constricted feeling in her chest, the feeling as if she couldn´t breathe. It was fine. "I thought it could work out, you know? Finally. But she didn't take it very seriously. I don´t know, I told her that I wanted to focus more on my company, it had grown so much, it wasn´t even that much of a lie, and ended it. It´s always the worst job and she didn't seem to want to do it."

Pushing the hair out of her face, she took a deep breath. It didn´t help much. "There was… Eri. She was so young… I couldn´t actually tell her how old I was, she wasn´t even thirty. I kept her at distance, didn´t want it to get too emotional, but she… she was better than the rest. Didn´t want me to be someone I was not, respected that I don´t like to show my feelings, at least not like in some lousy movie like everyone else did. It lasted seven years. Guess it would´ve been even more, but she had an accident and died. Humans are so fragile. It´s better not to bother with them."

"So you´ve given up?"

"It´s not as if I´m gonna die soon. Have you given up?"

Goku shifted, folding his arms over his chest. "Actually, I haven´t. I just don´t care, about relationships and all that. I liked it with Chichi, and I´m glad I had her but I´m not interested in seeking it out."

Bra smiled. She didn´t feel like smiling. "Well, sometimes it´s enough to just have a few meaningless fucks, right?"

"I don´t care about that either. Y´know, if it happens, fine, if not… whatever."

So that was it. It explained why he hadn´t reacted so many years ago when she stood naked in his kitchen. Asexual or gay. No one else would´ve… been so utterly unimpressed.

"You don´t have to be alone forever, Bra."

He left shortly after, left her on her veranda, pondering if it had been some kind of proposal. Another night went by, sleepless, going over it again and again, but she couldn´t figure it out.

The headache was killing her.

* * *

 **AN:** AND there will be a fourth chapter after all. I wanted to wrap it up in this one, but the chapter would be seriously long (which is not so bad) and I´m not sure if I find the time to finish it next week or so (which is bad) and since I already had this here written out and long enough for a standalone…

Anyway, life has been busy, my arm has been hurting, the story hadn´t been very forthcoming in getting written, so before it looks like an abandoned story I´d rather write more chapters. Don´t know if anyone can guess where this is going already but there will be some big reveals in the end! Hopefully they are totally surprising haha.

Right. I promise that this story will be finished, so hope you enjoyed it and see you next time:)


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:** Some warnings for this chapter… there is a sex scene including oral and vaginal. And it´s a little bit rough. Also, I really hadn´t thought how insanely fitting Hozier´s song would be for this fic in the beginning. But it is.

Alright, so much to that. Have fun!

* * *

Darlin', don't you, stand there watching, won't you  
Come and save me from it  
Darlin', don't you, join in, you're supposed to  
Drag me away from it

Any way to distract and sedate  
Adding shadows to the walls of the cave

 _Hozier – Sedated_

* * *

He hadn´t shown himself for a week after their talk. He had had a plan when he came to her a few months ago, but somehow he just couldn´t bring himself to just spit it out. He wasn´t that condescending and anyway, it´s not as if she would listen. She wouldn´t listen out of spite, he learned that much. Some traits were inherited.

It didn´t help much that his brain entered a state of constant fogginess, the lack of sleep made sure of that. Maybe… last time she forced him to talk she had actually helped him somehow. He wondered if she knew.

When he arrived at her house, she was sitting on her veranda again, her favorite spot, with her black cat on the lap. Even when no one was around she made sure to look impeccable. It was so different from what he was used to. Not even Bulma had cared that much, he had seen her so often sweaty and dirty from some work she did. But Bra was sitting there like a goddess, her long blue hair falling over her shoulders, make-up probably, he couldn´t tell, barely ever seen her without it, even her long nails were painted meticulously. No wonder people felt alienated by her. He had the same effect, but for different reasons.

"Morning Bra."

"Morning Goku." She didn´t look up. He was already groaning inside.

"Do you want to know why I´m here?"

"Guess you want to sleep in a bed instead of the fucking woods." Still didn´t look up.

"I meant Earth."

"Well, considering your absences from time to time maybe you wanna catch up with your family. Or not, I don't know. You´re good at avoiding them."

"Bra, I visit my family all the time. Don´t you know that?"

She looked up, finally. She tried to stay neutral, but he could see that she was hurt. "No, I don´t keep close tabs with your family."

And they all have close contact with her family. He didn´t say anything.

"Why didn´t you come to mum´s funeral then?"

"I was there, Bra. I just… didn´t feel like making my presence known."

Now she didn´t hide it anymore. So he had managed to get a reaction out of her, something else than anger and indifference, but the pain in her eyes was what he had wanted to avoid. "Listen Bra, you were fine, there was nothing we had to say to each other, and I thought you´d have known when I was here."

"Then why did you come to me now?"

"You…" He swallowed. Talking was awful. He didn´t like it very much. "You were helpful when I was struggling with accepting that Chichi was gone and I have been struggling with my progress lately, it´s… it´s not going anywhere. I thought staying at your place would help."

"What do you mean progress?" Her voice was shaky, but she didn´t falter.

"It seems like I reached my limit. I couldn´t find anything to surpass my level. Maybe there is no further ascension, I don´t know."

"That´s it then? That´s why you came here?"

"Yeah."

He saw it coming, but didn´t move out of the way. It didn´t hurt all that much anyway. Bra hissed, her hand must´ve hurt after she slapped him, there was nothing soft about him. She slapped him again, harder, glaring at him, daring him to say something, to defend himself.

"You fucking bitch!"

This time he grabbed her hand. It was pathetic. They both were. But not all hope was lost. There was one thing he hadn´t tried yet, something she seemed to hold in high esteem.

"Are you still interested in that fuck?" It hurt him, saying that. Every other way she would´ve just made fun of though.

"It´s not going to make anything better!"

"It´s not going to make it worse either."

He let go, she slapped him again. This time, he felt a slight tingle in his cheek. Or maybe it was just the rough kiss that followed.

* * *

There was no way he actually meant it, he had said so himself, _'I don´t care about sex',_ but he started it, maybe… maybe he just made an exception. For her. He wasn´t very responsive when she kissed him, it was kind of unnerving. Pushing him down on one of the chairs she immediately started taking his shirt off, trying not to rip it, trying not to look so desperate. Everything about him was so unyielding, so powerful. And still he came crawling to her, bitching how he still wasn´t strong enough. Didn´t they achieve god status?

Her fingers, tangled in his chest hair started to dig into his skin, scratching hard enough for him to hiss, pushing her away when she hit the nipples. He looked confused, only used to the harmless stuff, to people who adore him. She just wanted to see him angry, to hurt him, to make him beg for more when she was done with him, to finally see a genuine emotion on his face.

She snarled, getting up again, ripping of her blouse. Thinking about it made her blood pumping. She wanted to act on it.

Goku didn´t push her away again, but he looked warily when she got back into position, straddling him. He was breathing hard, his mouth slightly open. She slid her tongue inside and after some excruciating seconds he finally grabbed her around the waist, lifting her up and trying to stumble towards the house. She let go of him, allowing him to properly see where he was going. The last broken glass door had made such a mess…

Bra kept her hands on his face, so smooth, not a hint of stubble. How did he… "Argh!" The pain was awful, shooting right up to her brain. The base of her spine had made contact with the kitchen counter. The bad spot. "Let me down, let me…" She pushed him away, quickly walking towards her bedroom when she was back on her own feet. Asexual or not, he was obviously not able to use his brain when his dick was getting some action.

There was no need to wait for him. She pulled of her shorts, her underwear. Turned around just to see him standing in the doorway. She put her hand on her hip, mimicking her stance from so many years ago. Her tits weren´t as perky anymore, her skin started to wrinkle on some spots, but she was still damn gorgeous.

This time, he didn´t kick her out. This time, he laid his hands on her hips, his big hands, until she led them upwards, stopping at her breasts.

"Do you like it?"

He just looked at her, not saying anything at all. Huffing, she sat down on the bed and started pushing down his pants. Not even half hard yet. With a sigh, she rubbed him, hoping to get a reaction. She wasn´t used to men being so utterly unimpressed.

"Get down on the bed."

He complied. She wasn´t sure if he was uneasy or if it was just the way he fucked. But there was no way she would back off from a challenge. She crawled over to him, looking up to make sure he was paying attention. Slowly, slowly she took the tip in her mouth, gliding down until she swallowed him whole. She couldn´t keep the position long, but it was enough to make him gasp.

It didn´t take much time for him to become wonderfully hard, to fill her mouth, making it impossible to deep throat him again. Not that he seemed to care, finally giving in, finally stopping the act. She could almost feel his blood racing through his veins, how he desperately tried not to grab her head and push her down, how he gasped and shivered… Maybe Chichi had never sucked him. Maybe he didn´t know that sex could be so amazing and that he shouldn´t have missed out on it for so long.

Licking his whole length one more time she moved away, sitting down opposite him. His eyes were half closed and he started shimmering in the dimly lit room. She gestured for him to come closer, leaning back and spreading her legs. Quicker than she could even see he was over her, his skin so hot, the power was radiating off it. He hesitated a second, a torturous second, and then he moved. She smelled the blood she had been drawing with her nails, she felt her mind slipping and only instinct taking over. She felt…

* * *

Goku stared at the ceiling, the scratches on his arm stinging unpleasantly. Bra wasn't sleeping next to him, but neither wanted to talk. He had enjoyed it, somehow, but he was also slightly disturbed by it. He had never experienced something like it.

Bra started crying. He shortly moved his head to the side, looking at the hair spread out over the sheets. She wasn´t crying because of him. Obviously the whole thing had set something off for her as well.

When she didn´t stop after a few minutes he couldn´t listen to it any longer. "Are you missing someone?"

She sniffled, the sheets rustling when she tried to cover herself with them. He didn´t budge for her.

"Or was this how you wanted it to be?"

"What´s your fucking deal?" She sat up, her face red and pouty. "I didn´t get the impression you weren´t into it!"

"I´m not the one crying."

She looked away, he saw her jaw working. It was quiet for a while.

"It was funny, what you told me. How you thought Pan wasn´t taking it seriously and you had to break up with her. You see, I spent some time with her, she went with me to train and she mentioned that she didn´t want to spend time on Earth for a while, since there was this break up she had. Something serious, but the girl didn't think so as well and ended it. Didn´t say a name though." He shrugged, looking up to her. "Probably wasn't you."

He couldn´t quite place it, the way her face changed. It wasn't angry anymore, rather… tired. Bra laid down again, wrapping as much sheet around her as she could grab. He still didn´t move.

"No, probably not. Oh, and Goku? Have you ever thought about not trying so hard to ascend? I thought that was what my dad always did and it took him so much longer. Isn´t it this martial arts thing to just practice something for so long until you reach enlightenment? If you tried everything else, why not that. What´s the worst that could happen?"

That he´s staying stuck forever. "Maybe I´ll try that." She smiled, and he smiled, too.

* * *

There was a moment of complete confusion. She couldn´t quite place where she was or how she got there, but Goku… he was lying next to her. Grabbing her head she started to recall. She had just been sleeping for… 13 hours. Bra shook her head and got up. Goku slept like a stone, no need to wake him up.

Three hours later he was still sleeping. She had already put some of her breakfast in the fridge for him, not trying to keep it warm any longer. Her cats had been horribly disappointed by her long absence and she played a bit with them.

She peeked into the room in the evening, but besides the change in position he was still in the same state. She considered lying down next to him, it was her bed after all, but she retreated back to another guest room.

Another whole day passed. There was a chance he was in a sex-induced coma. Should it stay like that a day longer she would call for help.

Around noon the day after he finally shuffled down the stairs, groggy and sleepy and not smelling very good. Bra was lying on the couch, reading some news while she absentmindedly petted her cat.

"Morning sunshine. Are we feeling rested?"

"How long have I been out?"

"Oh, two days or so."

He rubbed his face, finally some stubble on it. Good to know he wasn´t quite that abnormal.

"I put away something from every meal I made the last two days. You're welcome."

Not moving much faster he went over to the kitchen. A few minutes later he sat down opposite her, shoving food into his mouth. She didn´t pay him much attention. He wouldn´t talk to her anyway, his mouth otherwise occupied.

"Have you thought about what I said?"

Startled, she looked up. So he was done. "I… no. I didn´t." She hesitated, wondering if she should even ask him. It seemed so… humiliating. A deep breath. It would drive her crazy forever. She had thought about what he hadn't said. "Why have you never visited me, when you were on Earth that often?" There was a pain in her chest, stinging her, contracting, pressing the air out of her lungs. Every second he didn't answer she felt like she was dying.

"You were doing fine and there was not really any reason. But Bra…" He rubbed his head. It was such an awful gesture. "I was here when something was going on with my family. When someone else wanted to see me, friends… they always come to me. I never go to someone first. Except this time."

It wasn´t getting better. With every shaky breath she felt her heart beating faster. She rubbed her sweaty hands on her legs, trying to calm herself down.

"Bra, why have you cried last night? Are you missing the girl who died?"

"Eri? , it´s fine. I…" She didn´t answer. After a while, he got up.

"I´m taking off. Take care, Bra."

She smiled, weakly. "Think you figured it out now?"

"Don´t know. But reaching enlightenment doesn´t sound so bad as well."

Yeah, she could use some of that as well.

* * *

"I´m so glad you´re here!"

Bra endured the hug stiffly. Though it was nice being back in her old company. Noushka was looking good, with her short dark red hair, her brown eyes and her lightly tan skin she was almost a mirror image of her mother. At least when she had still been young.

"It´s nice being back. I miss it a bit."

"I can hire you back, you know? Though I thought you enjoy your retirement. With your cats." She giggled, grinning widely.

"Noushka, I don´t like your tone."

There was more giggling, but she didn´t mind. From all her nephews and nieces she liked Noushka best. She was a smart girl and a perfect leader. The reason why Bra hadn´t visited her more often, it made her realize that she had to end her career in order to keep up the façade and now… now she wasn´t sure if she could start all over again. Build a new empire. Fake her entire life. Maybe she was a bit envious. There was no need to dwell in the past though, instead she should just enjoy lunch.

"What´s besides work, Noushka? Got someone special in your life?" Bra looked at her mischievously. She couldn´t help it, a little bit of gossip was never bad.

"No, no. No. I don´t need that, all that relationship stuff. I´m not interested in it. And honestly, having children? Wasting my time with raising people who will inevitably hate me because I don´t want to take care of them? I´m happy on my own and I think my six siblings will make up for it. But what about you, Aunt Bra? Looking for spouse number four?"

Was she? After Eri, she hadn´t felt like looking for someone else. Someone she would need to lie to in order to get to know them. Not like she had imagined it. "Not really. I´m getting too old for that."

Noushka looked at her seriously. She knew that face, it was the way her brother liked to look at her when he was displeased. "Bra, I love my work so much more than I would ever love another human being. But you know, for those of us who actually want to love other people, they shouldn´t… dismiss it. It´s just making them sad."

 _It´s just making me sad._ She smiled weakly. "Maybe there´s something to it."

Maybe.

* * *

 **AN:** And still not the last chapter! But I promise the next one will be. Honestly, I don´t want the chapters to be super long and I kinda underestimated how much is left to write. But hey, more chapters!

Anyway, hope you had fun and until next time:)


	5. Chapter 5

**Sedated – 5**

* * *

 **AN:** EDIT! I edited the ending, because I never liked it. The content is basically the same, but it now fits better to the tone of the story.

* * *

 _Your heart's a mess  
You won't admit to it  
It makes no sense  
But I'm desperate to connect  
And you, you can't live like this_

Gotye – Hearts a mess

* * *

Two weeks in Southeast City had been fun. Back in her old apartment, she had even kept the white couch. The only sentimentality she didn´t mind. But for this… she wanted to be on her island. It felt more secure.

"Bra? Why… I´m sorry, why are you calling? I just… I don´t know when…"

"Hi Pan. I just wanted to ask you something. Did you travel with your grandpa lately?"

Pan was quiet for some time, so long in fact that Bra was convinced she had hung up. She should´ve done some small talk, tried to get the conversation on the topic smoothly, but she just… needed to know.

"Depends on what you call lately."

"Few years?"

"Twenty."

She was quiet again. Twenty years… that was about right.

"Bra, why are you asking? This seems pretty random for a first call after more than a decade."

"I… just curious. How are you, still working?"

"Stop trying to distract! Why did you ask?"

Bra grimaced, glad that Pan couldn´t see it. It had been a good idea not to call via vidphone. "Why did you want to break up with me?"

She heard Pan take in a shaky breath, sure that she would hang up now. Maybe it was better like that. She didn´t even want to know it so badly. Or at all.

"I never wanted to break up with you. Don´t you think it´s a bit late for this conversation?"

Was it? She just had heard of it, it was actually pretty recent.

"Bra? Are you still there?"

"Yeah."

"Have you forgotten who ended it? Not me!"

"No, I haven´t. I thought… I thought you didn´t care all that much."

Another shaky breath. Or maybe it was just a quick intake of air to scream better.

"Then why didn´t you fucking ASK? You have some nerve calling me twenty years later and telling me that shit! Are you feeling better now? How did you even…? Why did you dig this up again?"

"Goku was here and… and he told me that you were travelling with him and…"

"Goku?"

"Yeah. And he told me that you had some breakup and…"

"What? Why were you seeing Grandpa? Why… why are you two talking about me?"

"We´re friends, somehow. It doesn´t matter, he told me…"

"That doesn´t make sense. Why should he tell you that now?"

"Because he visited me now. Pan, listen, I know it seems weird to you but I was always under the impression you wouldn´t care all that much about it and I just… want to know if I made a mistake."

"Twenty fucking years and my fucking grandpa were needed for that realization? Fuck you! Fuck you and fuck your goddamn condescending piece of shit personality!"

Now she hung up. Bra stared at her phone for a while before she put it away. That… had been even more awful than she had imagined.

* * *

Bra eyed herself in the mirror. The sea green dress was perfectly fitting to her blue hair, make-up on point and her hair in a sideways braid falling softly over her shoulder. It was just right for the season. She never really liked the moody weather in West City, snow and cold and all that. The simple reason why she bought a tropical island and the reason she decided to live in Southeast City.

She had been a bit down after the call, especially since she did know that Pan wasn´t all that wrong. Goku hadn´t shown up again, she would´ve liked to tell him how it had went and… she didn´t think he had come to her to tell her that, that had probably just been an excuse. She wondered if he really thought she could give him good advice on how to become more like a god and maybe she should´ve at least tried.

Shrugging, she grabbed her purse and her movie ticket. Well, she couldn´t change that now but there was a premiere waiting for her and her favourite actress would be there, which was definitely something more interesting to think about.

Bra was almost out of the door when her phone started ringing. Cursing under her breath she picked it out of her bag again. It was Pan. She couldn´t quite imagine what possible reason Pan could have to call, but it could surely wait. She could always claim that she hadn´t heard it. After the third ring she picked it up. It could be important after all.

"What do you want?"

"And here I thought you wanted to make an attempt to contact me again."

Bra bit her lip, trying not to curse into the phone. "Pan, I just wanted to know if I was right or wrong back then. Since Goku hinted at something like that and it was bothering me. Now I know."

"Yeah, that thing with grandpa, I still don´t quite get it."

"It´s not your business. Pan, I was just leaving, could you just spit it out?"

Pan sighed loudly, reminding Bra instantly why her accusations weren´t all that far-fetched.

"Where are you going?"

"Movie premiere."

"Oh? You mind if I tag along?"

 _Very much._ "You don´t need to feel like you have to spend time with me now, Pan."

"Listen, I am horribly mad at you for being such a stubborn bitch, but… I am also glad you finally called after so long. Thought it would be nice to catch up a bit, go for a drink or something."

"Whatever, can we do that after the movie? Or tomorrow?" _Or never?_ Why had she even called in the first place? Damn Goku and his fucking need to spill something that was twenty years ago!

"Fine, when´s the movie over?"

"Ten, eleven, don´t know. Something like that."

"Right, see you Bra."

She had hung up before Bra could even tell her where she would be. But that… was not her problem.

* * *

Pan was waiting down the street, hands in the pockets of her pants. She did look older, like a forty-something. Just a quarter of a Saiyan. Bra´s mouth twitched with the thought. Despite that there wasn´t a big change, her hair was short this time, tight shirt, baggy pants, sneakers. She looked up when Bra approached her.

"How did you know where I was?"

"Sensed your Ki. I learned instant transmission a while ago, it´s really useful." Pan eyed her, the dress, the immaculate styling, the flat shoes. Nothing changed as well. "You look good. So young."

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, dad doesn´t look that much older than me… what?"

Pan stared at her, confused and a bit… frightened? It irritated her. "Pan, what´s the problem, I got a stain on my dress or what?"

She looked up, in disbelieve. "Bra… you´re pregnant?"

"I´m…" Bra couldn´t quite comprehend. "I… I´m what?"

"You´re pregnant. I can smell it."

Bra nodded, slowly. Took a deep breath. "How about we go get some coffee. I… I need to sit down."

* * *

"I don´t know how that´s possible. I mean… I only have my period every other month. I thought…"

"You still have your period?" Pan shrugged, moving the spoon lazily through her coffee. They had found a quiet 24h coffee shop, perfect for the occasion. Better than Bra´s apartment. "I´m already in menopause. _Already._ " Pan snorted, licking off the foam from her spoon.

"As I said, didn´t think… I could still… would´ve used protection then." She took a sip, frowning. It didn´t taste very good.

"Was it grandpa?"

Bra didn´t answer for a while, just staring out of the window. The night was a bit chilly, but it was a weekday so the streets were empty. It was nice. "Yeah." She turned around, looking at Pan. "Are you mad?"

"Are you… seeing each other?"

Bra grinned, started giggling loudly. Someone turned around, staring daggers at them. Probably thought they were drunk. "Hell no. It was a… onetime thing. We´ve been hanging out a bit and… it´s a long story. I´ll tell you some other time." She rubbed her forehead, trying to think.

"And you´re keeping it?"

"I didn´t know I was pregnant until twenty minutes ago, you might want to give me some time to think about it."

"I thought something was fishy about your _friendship_ with grandpa."

"Pan. I wanted to fuck him ages ago, like fifty years, okay? I wanted to… figure out why everyone thought he was so special. But he didn´t let me and I didn´t want to give up and we were hanging out and yeah."

Now Pan burst out laughing, another dirty stare. "Okay, THAT sounds like you one hundred percent! Oh my god, why would you even think that was a good idea? I mean… was this why you slept with me? Back then?"

Bra looked away, feeling incredibly stupid all of a sudden. "Maybe."

"This is hilarious! You are so focused on yourself that you didn´t even realize the obvious reasons everyone thinks grandpa is great!"

"Well he isn´t all that great, okay? And I did change my mind. We kinda… talked about something that was bothering me and he wanted to cheer me up, I think."

"With sex? Definitely knows how you work."

Bra gave her a dirty look. "I didn´t miss you at all, you fucking bitch."

Pan just winked at her, taking a sip of her coffee.

"You know what, let´s go outside. I want to smoke. You got some with you?"

Pan sighed, grabbing inside her pocket and wiggling the pack of cigarettes in front of Bra´s face. "As if you haven´t smelled it."

The first drag she took was perfect bliss. Old habits die hard.

"Don´t look at me like that. It was a rough night, one cigarette won´t kill a baby."

"You gonna tell anyone?"

"No."

Pan shrugged, the red glow illuminating her face. "But I know."

Bra looked at her, smiling. "Yes. You do." She took another drag, inhaling deeply. Wondering why she ever stopped with it. Oh right, her teeth had gotten a yellow stain, it had looked awful… "Pan, why did you want to see me? I can´t believe you forgave me that easily. I mean…" She scratched a tiny spot on her forehead, looking at her nail. It was a bit splintered. "I think I was a jerk. And I usually don´t judge myself harshly."

"No. Not really, eh?" Pan grinned, but it didn´t quite reach her eyes. "Are you still working?"

"Got two online companies. My old one is now lead by Noushka, you know, Natalia´s daughter."

"Mhm." There was a moment of silence. Pan just stared at the floor, her lips pressed together tightly. Bra did her best not to shake her and make her spit out what was wrong. She never liked dramatic entrances. "I quit a while ago as well. Everything has been rather boring since then. I didn´t want to apply for a new job, doesn´t feel right."

"Either start all over again or lie so much you can´t enjoy what you´re doing."

Pan looked at her from the corner of her eyes. "`s not better when it comes to other people. The last woman I fucked, I told her I was 38. Guess that´s close to what I look right now."

As if she didn´t know. Last time she had even bothered, the other one thought she was barely thirty. It made her sick. "So you come back to me because I´m the only one left? How flattering."

"No, Bra, I thought it would be nice to spend some time with someone who knows who I am. What I am. Without constantly lying. Isn´t that something you´d like as well?"

"I don´t like compromises." She threw away the stub, crossing her arms angrily. Like the fucking consolation prize.

"Oh, I think you got it wrong. I don't want you back. I just want to hang out. That had been fun, hadn´t it? Back then."

Bra took a deep breath, exhaled slowly. Her chest didn´t feel quite so constricted as usual. It was a nice relief. "I don´t know if I want that." Pan looked like a kicked puppy, it was awful. Sighing, she pushed her hair back from her shoulder. "But I mean, I´d have to try to know for sure."

Yes. That sounded quite right.

* * *

Some months must have passed, he didn´t know. It was always hard to keep track of the time when he wasn´t on Earth and there weren´t regular days and nights to help him. He knew Bra hadn´t been serious, but he still had tried her advice. Hadn´t worked. He tried not to let it get to him, but of course it did. If he could just sleep some more…

Taking a deep breath he tried to calm himself. There was a big meet up with his and Vegeta´s family and he really didn´t want to spoil the mood with his problems. He couldn´t remember the last time he had seen everyone at once. Getting his grin ready, he walked to the back of Bulma´s house, to the huge garden.

His grin froze the moment he rounded the corner. There she was, sitting in a chair, her belly big and round and… he swallowed, hard, when she looked up, staring him right in the eyes. Daring him to say anything. So she had shown up at a reunion at last. Maybe the world would end in the next few days. He got a grip, his grin back in place, and walked over to his sons. He had wanted to talk to her later anyway.

* * *

"Hey Bra."

She screamed a little, trying to find something she could throw at him. It was just a pillow, he deflected it easily.

"Are you out of your fucking mind? I could lose my water, don´t scare me like that, asshole!"

"Thought you would expect me."

"Thought you would use the fucking doorbell!" She fumed, one hand on her belly, the other steadying her on the sideboard. The apartment looked different from last time, but… the couch was still there. He smiled fondly.

"So we´re gonna be parents?"

"I. _I_ am going to be a parent. There is no we."

Not that he was all that interested in having another child. Grandchildren were exhaustive enough. Though there was something bugging him. "Did you do it on purpose? Because you´re lonely?" He begged for her to say no. She was better than that, she was supposed to be better than that!

She huffed, walking over to the couch slowly. She had trouble sitting down, the baby was probably due soon. "Don´t be an idiot. That would be the dumbest thing to do."

He wasn´t so sure. He just stared at her, waiting for something.

"What? You wanna tell me now you want her? Cause you took such good care of your own brats!"

"They turned out fine!" Goku paused for a moment. He didn´t want to fight. So it was a girl.

"Maybe you want her. Is that why you came, asshole? She won´t get you out of your depression either!"

"I´m not depressed!" It sounded hollow, especially when he looked into Bra´s mocking face, staring at him daringly. He looked away first and walked over to her. When he sat down, he felt the tiny ki of his daughter. It felt good. It felt calming. He lifted his hand, but put it down immediately. He couldn´t imagine that Bra wanted him to touch her belly right now.

"What are we going to do now?"

Goku smiled weakly. "You don´t want me involved. Why should I decide?"

She huffed again, almost laughing. It didn't reach her eyes. "I never wanted children. I don´t know…" She stroked her belly, slowly. "I don´t want to ruin this. Her. I…"

Never accepting help, not even thinking about all the people who love her and would support her in a heartbeat. Goku felt Pan´s presence in the apartment. He couldn´t understand how Bra could think she was alone with it.

"Why didn´t you get rid of her?"

Bra stopped stroking, looking up. Her self confidence was missing. It didn´t feel right. "I thought I can handle it. Just another project." She shrugged. "It´s not like that at all." She pressed her lips together, thinking. He waited, had to. There was no need to rush. "How was your training? Enlightened yet?"

"Aaaah… no. Guess that´s not for me."

"Maybe if you start worrying so much you would still have fun looking for adequate fighters."

He let out a short huff of laughter. "Same goes for you, Bra. Don´t be afraid. It doesn´t suit you." He could see it, the little sparkle that went back to her eyes. "What´s her name?"

"Corsette. My brother didn´t follow the tradition…" She punched him lightly. "Do you like it?"

He smiled, a little smile while he carefully touched her belly, the little bump that showed. Maybe a tiny foot. "Yeah. Sounds good."

He stroked until the tiny bump disappeared. When he wanted to move away, Bra grabbed his arm. "If you want to do this then do it. I´m not Chichi. I don´t want to handle this on my own."

"Are you proposing?"

"Fuck you." She leaned away, but a big smile was on her face.

* * *

"You alright?" Goku had left a few minutes ago. Pan hadn´t wanted to intrude, although she had been anxious enough to almost eavesdrop. Bra turned her head far enough to look at Pan, a smile still on her face. "Yeah. He´s maybe moving back in with me."

Pan swallowed dryly, trying to ignore the tense feeling in her throat. "Oh. That´s good, right? Having him back with you?"

"Don´t know. He´s never going to stay anyway. I guess we all know that."

Pan nodded. She should leave. It was probably better. When she turned around, Bra grabbed her hand. "And you?"

She should shake it away, leave, quickly, it wasn´t her mess and she didn´t want to be part of it and she had endured enough and… Pan closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. When she opened them again, she grabbed Bra´s hand back. "He´s not the only one always running away."

Bra´s hand pressed harder. "I won´t leave. Not this time."

No. Goku had taught her that.

 _Fin._

* * *

 **AN:** It is DONE! Well, this has dragged out longer than I had anticipated, but I am very pleased with the result. There are probably some of you who are disappointed now, since Bra and Goku didn´t end up together, but I left the possibility open, since no one ended up with anyone anyway, haha.

Edit: It´s a bit different from before, and I think it´s for the better. I wanted to address the topic again that both Goku and Bra were suffering in their own ways and I also wanted to show that they wouldn´t use the child for selfish means of trying to feel better, but that it put everything in perspective.

Anyway, thanks a lot for reading and see you next time!


End file.
